Here you can read some ttc journeys. You can read what has happened to others and learn how they have dealt with the roller coaster ride. Find out that you are not alone, that others do understand what it is like, and have found support. If you would like to have your journey posted here or if you would like to be a part of the book TTC Dreams, please contact the webmaster.

Priscilla's Journey

My name is Priscilla. I am 28, my DH, Chuck, is 36. We have been married since July 15th, 1995. Chuck has 2 children from a previous marriage. Robby, 16, and Matthew, 13. We started ttc the day we got married.

DH didn't want too much of an age gap between the children. He agreed to have kids, I agreed to start right away. After a while of trying we talked to the doctor about it. They started me on Clomid for a few months. I had been having pains during sex, so I finally talked to him about that.

He did a laporoscopy and found I have endometriosis. I got all "cleaned up" and we did another month or 2 of clomid with no luck. We moved on to an IUI, which failed. And I lost all hope. At that point we gave up and became foster parents.

After 4 placements, we got our 3 little girls, which we adopted on July 5th, 2001. They are 2, 6, and 8. We still tried on our own off and on in those 3 years. Especially when we weren't sure if our girls would stay or return home.

The last time I went to the doctor, he told me, with the way my endo was acting, I may as well plan on a hysterectomy by the time I am 35. So I decided to give ttc another shot. Right now we are still just trying on our own.

Planning to go in for more treatment if we have no success by January or so of 2003. Depending on when our current foster children return home. There are 3 of them, and a big handful! Ages 7, 8, and 9.

That's me, in a nutshell!

Alicia's Journey

My name is Alicia J. I am 26 years old. My husband, Andy (26 also) and I were married on 5/18/02 and have been off of the pill since early May.

We have known each other for about 10 years and been dating for 5. I usually run 25-day cycles and O sometime around 12 days into my cycle. I haven't been diagnosed or prescribed anything for fertility, as I haven't yet gone to my doctor about it...waiting for 6 mos. to start worrying. That's about it for now.

Melissa's Journey

My name is Melissa (25) and my DH is Eric (25). We met in Feb of 1998 and started dating July 8, 1998. We got married on May 20, 2000. Eric wanted to have children right away, and even though it's always been my dream to be a mother and a wife, I wanted to wait.

I did want to start trying right when we got married at first, but then I just wanted some time for us and some freedom. Then we were going to start trying June of this year, so I went off bcp in January. Then we decided to go to Florida for spring break (March 2003) so I thought it would be better to wait until March to start trying.

Perfect I thought, while we were on vacation. Then my friend Elizabeth had her baby in July and my period was late. It really got me to thinking and once it showed up, we decided to start trying. So far AF was right on time in August and 5 days late in September, so we will see when it decides to show up now.

My periods have been running about every 28 days and I O about 12 days into the cycle. This is our third cycle trying. I don't chart or take temps because I seem to know when I'm O'ing. I used the OPK's a few times just to make sure.

They say it takes a normal healthy couple up to a year to conceive and as far as I know, we are healthy. So if after a year it doesn't happen, then we will go see someone. I'm in nursing school right now and graduate in May.

I work as a nurse intern at the hospital and also scooping candy at a candy store. My wonderful husband works bottling water (and is a substitute driver for one guy) at a water bottling company. We have two kitties, Nuts and Bolts that were born March 31, 2002 and are just the sweetest ever.

Debbi's Journey

I just wanted to share my story with everyone. Sometimes it feels like it just happened yesterday, stepping away from the roller coaster, glancing back to see what I missed, if the choice I made really was the right one.

On October 14, 1998, I had my second miscarriage confirmed by my doctor. I was devastated by the news, but not surprised. I knew what was happening, but had always hoped that all would be well in the end. That for me was the beginning of my slow and painful walk away from the roller coaster ride known as trying to conceive.

I found out I was pregnant on October 5, 1998 with a home pregnancy test, at only 4 weeks along. Because I had a previous miscarriage, the doctor was more than willing to see me early, basically a few days after a blood test confirmed the pregnancy. I started spotting just 3 days after the first home pregnancy test, and the doctor told me I would have only thought that my period was late if I had not tested so early. To say the least, he was wrong; I would have known that something was amiss.

I spent one month on medical leave from the company I was working for at the time. A few days after the miscarriage was confirmed, my husband asked me what I wanted for our Anniversary on the 23rd of October. I broke down and could not stop crying, all I wanted was the baby that I had lost. Depression was a shadow that followed me everywhere I looked.

Returning to work did not help, my shadow continued to follow me, hiding in plain sight. It seemed that everywhere I looked, there was a baby or a pregnant woman and I could only wonder why. Why did this happen to me again, what did I do wrong, could I face the possibility of it again if I continued on my roller coaster ride?

Getting back on that roller coaster was all I could think of for the first two months after the loss. I was sure it some fluke of nature, and that there was no way it would happen again. There was no reason for it, no reason for either miscarriage; the possibility of it happening again was looming larger in my mind and my heart.

A new year was on the horizon, holding the possibilities of a better future, a new job, and maybe another trip on the roller coaster. I was looking forward to the day when either my husband or I would have insurance with a new job. That would be the day that ttcing could begin again. The days drifted to weeks, the weeks to months, and I was not getting any younger.

As the time passed into months with little stability in the future, I kept looking at the 'Go' button for the roller coaster I was waiting to ride. Time slipped away from me, and each day I seemed to take a step away from the ride instead of towards it. The choice was made, I could not risk my mental health again, and I could not join my friends on the roller coaster that I had waited so long for.

I walk through life knowing that I will only have my son, never another, never the baby girl I dreamed of. For me, the journey has come to an end, but I still see the roller coaster, I can see my seat, I can see my friends as the ride starts for them. I shall walk along side my friends, offering what I can of myself, and in return, I get to feel their joys. To my friends, this is for you, may you never find yourself looking back wondering what if, but always look forward and know.

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Do not consider the information herein to be of a diagnostic nature.
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